How we communicate with one another has changed enormously in the last five years. The rise of remote working, accelerated by the pandemic, has made people increasingly reliant on digital communication tools like email, Slack and Asana. Zoom is now a verb and video calls have overwhelmingly replaced direct, face-to-face interactions.
Effective face-to-face communication requires practice, and the reduced frequency of in-person interactions has diminished these communication skills for many individuals. It’s no wonder then that many people report feeling more anxious and self-conscious about these interactions. Moreover, the pervasive use of smartphones and other devices means people are often distracted when they do have in-person meetings and conversations.
The world of improvisation offers some useful tools you can borrow to overcome these barriers in communication.
In this article we will explore three key improv tools:
- Listening
- “Yes, and”
- Being obvious.
These three tools can significantly enhance your communication skills, helping you to build better relationships and reduce social anxiety in face-to-face settings. By employing these techniques in your office interactions and work meetings you can improve your ability to communicate effectively, with confidence.
Imagine improv is like yoga for soft skills: if yoga makes your body more flexible, improv does the same for your communication. So, let’s limber up!
1. Focus on REALLY Listening
I know what you’re thinking: listening? I’ve heard all this before. And you’re right, it’s hardly a new idea. But how many brilliant listeners do you know? Real attention is a scarce resource in an increasingly digital and distracted world. While we’re often told we should listen, we aren’t always taught how. Often we aren’t really listening at all, we are just waiting to speak. Or perhaps we’re busy worrying about doing the sort of ‘active listening’ we’ve been taught – nodding along and trying to maintain eye contact, but feeling awkward in the process. True listening comes from genuinely hearing what the other person has said. Allow what you hear to really land with you, and be open and willing to be changed by what you’ve heard. In order to do this you need to surrender control of the conversation. Focus only on what the person you are speaking to is actually saying. If you can do this you will find yourself having more authentic and connected conversations.
Key Takeaway: True listening requires genuine attention and a willingness to be changed by what you hear.
2. Take a ‘Yes, and’ Approach
How receptive are you to the ideas of others in conversations? Often our concern in meetings, whether consciously or not, is to show our status. To prove our expertise and experience in relation to the subject at hand. At work, this often manifests as a need to be the smartest person in the room. This not only puts us under pressure, it also means we can be inflexible, communicating inefficiently and without a collaborative mindset. Improvisers try to take what we call a ‘Yes, and’ approach. This is about accepting and building off the ideas of others. We aim to make other people and their ideas look good, rather than competing with them. This approach makes them feel important, boosting the rapport and trust between you.
In addition, when you focus on the other person, you’ll find your anxiety lifts. Focusing on other people’s contributions can help to reduce any burden you might be feeling that you are responsible for solving the problem alone. As improv guru Jill Bernard once said, “If you’re stuck in your head, then you’ve got to get stuck in something else.” What if that something else was the person right in front of you? A simple fix, but a powerful one.
Key Takeaway: Using a “Yes, and ” approach builds rapport with others by focusing on collaboration not competition, it also helps to get you out of your own head.
3. If You Want to be Fluent, Be Obvious
Breaking the ice is something we have to do all the time in the world of work. Whether it’s with clients, colleagues, or our boss, it’s easy to feel tongue tied. But why does this situation fill us with such dread? It’s because we often put pressure on ourselves to be interesting or ‘fun.’ And to do so right away, straight off the bat. No wonder it makes us feel so anxious!
Instead of worrying about being interesting or funny, improvisers focus on being obvious. They say what is most obvious to them in the moment. When you’re meeting someone new, try saying what feels obvious to you. You’ll find that not only does this get the conversation flowing, but that what is obvious to you is often not obvious to other people. So, you sound interesting by accident! Being obvious could be as simple as saying, ‘Your necklace is really pretty.’ Your conversational partner now has something they can react to: “Oh this? It was my Grandma’s”, and you’re off. It might sound obvious, but people who are fluent conversationalists are often just the people who let themselves be… obvious (see what we did there?).
Key Takeaway: To ease anxiety, and be more fluent in conversations, practice saying what feels obvious to you.
Conclusion
In our increasingly digital and remote working environments effective in person communication is more crucial than ever. As face-to-face interactions decrease it is even more essential to practise honing these skills. Improvisation techniques like attentive listening, adopting a “Yes, and” approach, and embracing the obvious in conversations, can significantly enhance your communication skills. Not only do these tools help you to build stronger relationships, they also help to reduce social anxiety, making your interactions more genuine and connected. Just as yoga enhances physical flexibility, improv can stretch and strengthen your communicative prowess, leading to more successful and meaningful exchanges in your professional life.
Want more tips like these? Check out Company Director and Co-Founder of Hoopla Business, Max Dickins’, book, ‘Improvise! Use the Secrets of Improv to Achieve Extraordinary Results at Work’.
Want to know more about how improv could benefit your business?
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